My Journey following Mother Meera
My journey following Mother Meera so far.I cannot put a date on my journey's start but it was many years ago. I was asked by a dear friend Rowena Ryle to sit with her in my training room were each week we held a Yoga class, I agreed for her sake as I was a novice at sitting. The prospect of sitting for up to thirty minutes was not a thing I considered pleasurable. I think that Rowena could see more in me than I could; I am so glad she did as this was my first real encounter with the Divine Mother. I was about to take my first step of many.
Settling ourselves and facing the front of the room where I had what most would know as an Alter; to me it was just a long shelf which I had adorned with Japanese items that I had collected over the years to enhance the room where I trained my main art of Aikido. My Aikido life at that point was only technical and not spiritual. Due to me being brought up a Catholic and having religion rammed into me in my school days and wanting to be as far removed as possible from what I can only describe as hypocritical.
Going to a Catholic school and begrudging the fact that each day I had to walk one mile to the bus and back in the evening, I could not see why I had to do this when we had a school in our village. My Mother was Italian and a strong Catholic so I had no choice,...... ‘Children don’t’. I was affected by the many years of catching a bus to school and at eleven changing to higher school was even worse, the distance became longer and two buses were taken. My first school was part of the largest Catholic Church in the area and was run by Catholic teachers, priests and Nuns, the head was a Cannon; I still remember clearly that when he looked at the boys, his eyes showed not the love you would expect but more creepy, this has always stayed with me, I never saw anything untoward with the other boys but I always kept a wide berth from him and other priests. A strange feeling, I hope I was wrong in my assumptions, no one wants to point a finger; at such a young age our imagination may have been vulnerable and not what was real. I beg forgiveness if my comments here are untrue of those early memory days.
This experience took me far away from becoming religious as one can get. ‘I hear this said from many who had religion forced upon them’
Now an adult and sitting just to keep a friend happy was not much to give, so we started. The distance between us of a metre was possibly not enough, as I wonder if I was picking up telepathic waves; was it really my open mind that gave me the insight that follows.
With eyes closed I saw a large man in a pure white suit, you see people from India wearing. He was so large; it was like a film I had seen when young of a Genie being let out of a bottle. This larger than life man came towards me and I could feel his out stretched hand and pointing finger touch me on my forehead right in the centre. ‘Now I know it as the third eye’ this all happened in a flash, followed by the four words, ‘You will see everything’ then he vanished.
I have told part of this story to many but until late I never told of this man, so as not to be thought of as mad, being a big physical guy I did not wish to be judged a nutter, it would never fit my perception of what I stood for. My ego would never allow such comments. This Genie now known to me as Mr. Reddy, ‘The Divine Messenger’, found Mother Meera when she was young and cared for her for many years.
To meditate one tries to empty the mind, can you imagine after seeing this my mind was far from empty, confusion at the highest level, my mind was in overdrive, but I knew I should throw this stupid vision away ‘so I thought’ and get back to hoping that the time sitting would soon pass. Why was I here, certainly not to meditate, to be given the sight I was receiving cannot be for me; I will never be worth this amount of enlightenment.
Well I got it anyway, what I saw next was my start in a new direction of thinking, and that I knew would change my life forever.
Next: Very clear in my mind came a young gipsy girl, as I thought. When the time was over I mentioned to Rowena what I had seen, who, not fazed at all, told me that when next I was passing her house I should call in. The event was so abnormal for me to experience that I made the trip to meet her. We talked and then Rowena went to her large collection of photos and produce a picture of Mother Meera, no that’s not her I replied, the girl I saw was about nineteen in age, at that time Mother Meera was in her mid thirties. Again she went to the pile and produced an exact picture of this young Gipsy girl; that’s her; are you sure ‘yes I am sure’ this is Mother Meera but when she was young and the picture I showed you is of how she is now.
I had no idea why I had seen her at the stage I had, but I wanted to know more. Rowena enlightened me as she always does; still today she amazes me with her knowledge of the world and its wonders.
Some time had passed when one of my Aikido students from Reading, John, knew of someone who had booked with her friend a ticket to go to Germany to receive Darshan from Mother Meera and had been let down and could not now go. He had seen a picture that I had permanently on the wall of a lady that occasionally I would talk about, and remembered her name. I was offered the chance of going and jumped at it. ‘What fate’, I was on my way.
Good flight and transport from Frankfurt to Schloss Schaumburg by one of Mothers live in disciples, another great chance meeting as on the way back he told us of what his experiences having been living with the Mother.
Every night those who were there just to take Darshan would go by Taxi or organised bus; my recollection is that from the hotel it was a mile or two away. Being a Martial arts practitioner I decided to not take this route but to find my way across the fields and streets by myself. I had the theory that the Mother does not charge for her Darshan and this would be a way I could humble myself and treat it as a pilgrimage each day.
Have I made a mistake, what seemed a good idea started to now worry me? I have a good sense of direction but the first night when starting out it was light, half way the night fell I found myself in the deep woods, no idea if I was going towards or away from my destination. The time was nearing when I should be there. Those who wanted to take part must be early and queue then, when it is time to go in, we all go in together; my chance for this night may be lost; I went from pilgrim to panic in a flash, and all I could do is ask for the Mothers help and to direct me. I arrived flustered but there with time to spare and met the lady in the queue.
The first time to any new venture would cause most people apprehension, I was not any different, we chose a row way back from the front, we were new and both nervous of not doing the right thing.
On the seat was an A4 list of things you were asked to do, reading down I came to the part that says ‘If you start coughing’ please leave the room until it passes and then you can return, this was to not disturb others. This would not apply to me was my immediate thought as I never cough unless I am ill and my health was never feeling better. ‘Or so I thought’
Mother came in and sat, I was supposed to close my eyes and meditate but I wanted to see what would happen; not much, looking back on it, people, when they felt the calling to go up, would walk on their knees towards the Mother, there were several lines coming from different directions in the large room, holding well over two hundred.
To me, doing strange things was not weird so after calculating that each person receiving from Mother took about twenty three seconds at a time I calculated two hours for the total to receive the light from Mother. I wondered what she was doing, as I had not been one to read in advance and need to not make a fool of myself. Ok I have now sat here long enough to understand that people just get up in no order so I now will do the same.
I am up and I walk to the line closest to me then down on my knees as the lines move slowly towards Mother, I looked to see what I was about to receive; looks like nothing special, all the Mother does in silence is place her two fingers on the temples of the person kneeling in front of her, after this she releases and you look up into her eyes, then her head drops and it is time for the next person. Done over and over again until we all have received the light from her.
My turn with Mother was no different than any other; ‘or was it; for me it was’ It was the first time I have ever mentally said to another ‘I give to you my heart’ I've no idea why I said this but I did. I came away from that night with a feeling of lightness, can’t explain it any better. Back to the hotel and it was if I had been taken over by aliens, I could not think clearly and felt as if those in the room were moving very slowly and at peace, all those staying there had also been to see the Mother so really it was to be expected.
Have you ever experienced being somewhere and yet you are not there? A saying of you are in the goldfish bowl and I am outside comes to mind and that is how I felt. Watching others ordering food and thinking, 'oh I should eat'; being a heavy drinker at that time, I had no inclination to drink that night. My mind was not the one that I came to Darshan with.
The next night taking my pilgrimage seriously I ventured a different route, I was convinced the night before; my trip was far from direct. This time no problems apart from overheating due to my fast pace. In line together, into the room, the line we chose was somewhere near the back again.
To my surprise a young Indian woman, ‘one of Mother Helpers’, came towards me and outstretched her hand for me to follow her, she placed me in the very front row opposite where the Mother sits.
A very confused me and very nervous, I had no idea why this had happened. I saw this happening to several others; some moved forward, some back, as they entered the room.
I went for the three day Darshan and not the four that was the total offered as I had thought beforehand that if I go all that way and get bored, three days out of my life would be enough to give of my time. My arrogance did not stop there. Looking around the home of Mother Meera and the connecting rooms led me thinking that this was a very rich place and even though I had no idea where all the money had come from to build such a massive construction, this was not a place that needed any more of mine and so I never gave freely to the cause. ‘A regret I now have to live with’ after all, it said that Mother does not charge, ‘I took it as so’.
I cannot recall which out of the three nights but on one occasion after receiving Darshan I started to cough violently; so much that my eyes were watering to the degree that I was unable to see my way out of the line out to the main hall, but did make it. In total confusion of what I was going through I found my way to the toilets. The violent coughing continued ‘it felt like I was about to die’. It lasted for about fifteen minutes and seemed a lifetime.
Finally I gathered myself and returned to my seat. The trip was over and we made our way back to the airport. The next few weeks were the strangest ever in my life; I would like to try to describe my journey over this period.
Arriving at the airport I thought I was back to my normal self; went to the boarding gate with plenty of time to spare ‘or so I thought’ greeted by a stewardess saying that our flight had left almost one hour ago, 'impossible', I replied; looking at my watch I was well on time. What was happening to me I never make these sorts of mistakes. Got another flight and arrived in London. Caught the train back to Royston near Cambridge ‘No, I was on the wrong train’ did not panic as my mind was so chilled that it just did not matter. Got off at Stevenage and waited for the train to take me to Royston. At last on the right train, came to my stop and as I walked towards the car park where my pick-up, Jane would be waiting, I remember mentally commenting on how good it was that they had built new buildings at the station. ‘Wrong station’ I had disembarked one stop too early. I thought I would walk up the minor road to the main road to meet Jane who was collecting me after a call. As I walked I glanced at my watch; it was very late, I think very dark due the time of day. The strange part was to me it was as bright as day, everywhere I looked I could only see brightness; the sort that they speak about in countries that have months of daylight 24/7.
Imagine walking being in total happiness with the brightness of daylight, ‘brighter in fact’
Jane collected me and my life changed from this point on. Am I mad? I feel so strange, a good feeling but very strange indeed.
The next few weeks I realised that the whole point of Mother Meera was for her to bring down the light to us who receive Darshan and it all started with the violent coughing. The removal of negatives from my body had taken place, what happened I must now cherish. Mother had removed something and I knew that I must from now on think before I allow thoughts and judgements to be allowed to enter into me. ‘Be careful what you put back Tony now that you have been emptied of so many burdens from the past’, I could hear in my mind.
Over the next two weeks everywhere I looked just seemed brighter, clearer and my ears were so sensitive that any harsh words around me sounded as if they were being amplified a hundred times louder than they really were. How strange; only rude or harsh words towards others affected me in this way.
Back to normal, well not really as from that time on I have tried to help others who I felt in need, always trying to become a better person. I did not go back to Mother for many years as I always felt that I had not yet become a good enough person and until I had; it was not for me to receive the love she gave to me without becoming a much ‘holier person’ Stupid, as she would never turn anyone away.
Living half the year in Kefalonia Greece and the winters now back in the UK a friend told me that the Mother was visiting London. An opportunity I could not turn down, my feelings were not that I had reached a place of being a better person, but I felt ok with going.
Did I go expecting to get the same feeling and enlightenment of the first experience; I think I did and came away with nothing apart from happiness of seeing her again; My Jane came to support me and to see the person, who I had pictures of all over our house, since my first meeting. What would she think went through my mind as we got closer to the venue? My reward was that Jane came with me this time and she herself had change. The changes were very subtle and she now was able to name flowers and the colours, all were brighter than before. In the past she could not remember plants or flowers names, even when I repeated them over and over. To me this was an amazing experience; at the time I thought Jane had only come to support me or because our good friend Heather was with us. ‘I was wrong’
So far the journey has been extremely exciting, I have made great strides in becoming less judgemental and hope that in time I will reach peace in my mind. In 2009 I had the chance to see Mother yet again in London, a different feeling was with me; I just wanted to see her and be in her presence, this time I was not hoping to get any more than to be there with like minded people.
The moment Mother came into the room my eyes started watering ‘no idea why’ I had not felt weak or strong, it just happened, she walked to her seat and I questioned if my eyes were deceiving me. All around her head I clearly saw a halo; this was a perfect round almost clear circle with fine black lines going from her head to the outer rim; I had to look several times over the next few hours just to make sure my mind was not playing tricks with me. It stayed the whole time she was in the room. To make me sound even madder than what you may already think of me, I also saw large Angels flying high above her head from time to time. I have never experienced anything like it. ‘No I am not taking drugs’ I focused in on them as much as I could doubting all the time what I was seeing but the detail of the very largeness of them, the fine detail of the feathers on their wings were too clear; my doubts had to be real.
This organised venue had helpers that took us row by row up to the waiting lines; the Church hall held hundreds of people and needed to flow. When my turn came I followed, knelt in front of Mother Meera as I looked into her eyes, her right eye gave off ‘a star burst’ this is how I saw it. Immediately I knew my future was safe and all would become better, my path I felt would only get stronger. ‘Now I have to wait and see’ Next year I will go back to Germany for the full four days; I am very excited. Not hoping for another dramatic change but just to go and be with the person our house is adorned with. She is with us daily and if you are still looking for a direction in life to seek; research the Mother and make up your own mind if this is a path for you to take.
Mother Meera asks for nothing, you do not have to be religious, or follow a certain religion, all you need is to be yourself and she will help by bringing down the divine light that will help make the world a better place, where more people will help others. This is our main purpose while we are here, it is not going to be easy to change the world but the more that try the easier it will become.
You may think I have become a ‘Bible basher’ but far from it; my life is a simple one, my frankness is the same today as before I met Mother Meera; apart from thinking before I speak. ‘I have to see it to believe it’ is still my only truth. I have seen and experienced, who knows it may even get better. It is not for me to see, only to try. The results and benefits are felt everyday; happiness has to be worked at, but if you are a true giver you will get back joy. Not for the ego but for your soul.
Those who read this article will have their own conclusions, for myself I still wonder if I really do see what I have in my life or have I been controlled in how I think. The problem with all the vast mental ‘Movies’ varying from reality to fiction I been subjected to, too many un-truths to know what is real or not; this I cannot answer, perhaps one day I can.
Ending: I do not know where or when my next journey will start or end, I often doubt myself in how I think, most of my life I hated to hear the word God; every time it came up my body would shudder, now at last I can say; it has no effect on me I can say it freely, one day I may even believe in a God. Through Mother Meera I am sure she will give me the strength to find my path to a religion that I can accept.